Saturday, May 31, 2008

Just a post

I've been sitting here watching Aidan while he sleeps on the couch. He's finally calmed down from being upset earlier this evening and he looks peaceful. I've been looking at pictures of him from a year ago- right before I had Evan. It is so amazing to me that it's only been a year. It feels like a lifetime ago. Aidan has lost that babyish look about him and is starting to look like a little boy instead of my baby.

I'd give anything in the world to go back a year and redo everything if I knew I could prevent this outcome. I'd give anything to go back to the days of chasing him around and taking him to the zoo, all while being 9 months pregnant. I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat. I wouldn't have uprooted our family and I would watch him like a hawk and keep him right beside of me.

I know I'm being irrational. I just miss the way things used to be. I never thought I was happy before, but I was. I am so blessed to have these two baby boys. I love them more than anything in the world and I'd give up my own life to give Aidan a future-a normal future.

I didn't mean to turn this into a sob-fest. So..... We probably won't have any results from his MRI until Monday or Tuesday. We have an appointment with the neuro-opthalmologist on Wednesday. Aidan has been doing really well with the seizures. He hasn't been having very many of them at all. They've significantly decreased in frequency and severity. I have noticed a slight twitching of his eyes. I'm not sure if that is an accurate description. I know there is a term for it, but it's like his eyes are actually moving up and down and they don't both move together at the same time. I will be bringing this up to the neurologist when he calls. I don't think it's something really significant considering that the seizures are getting better.

Well, I thought I'd post a little bit of an update for all of you reading. I'll post more once I talk to the doctor and get the MRI results.


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