Sunday, June 1, 2008

I'm really disappointed

Let me apologize for expressing my anger about the comments I read on the news page about the little boy who nearly drowned in a pool in Phoenix. By no means did I want anyone to start flaming my blog readers.

Our friend, who posted a comment to my post has received "hate mail" because of her comment and I DO NOT condone such behavior. I respect her position, whether I agree with it 100% or not. I used to be one of those people who would wonder how something terrible like a near-drowning could happen and would ask, "where was the parent?" It's something that would come to my mind immediately.

Yes, there are precautions that every parent can make to TRY to keep their children safe, but the fact remains that children can and will do anything to get what they want. They are curious and they are more observant and determined than we give them credit for.

I deleted my post because I don't want to ruffle any more feathers. "S", I'm sorry for the emails that you have received. I do appreciate your opinion and your prayers for Aidan. Please accept my apology.

5 comments:

Kathy said...

Erin,
My name is Kathy and I live in Phoenix. Ironic that your posts have recently talked about our city. This comment is nothing to do with that however. I have been keeping up with your sad story of Aidan and I want to thankyou for sharing his story with others. Your web site is called "Pray for Aidan" and maybe that's the reason why you are allowing others to peek into your personal lives, so we can help you with prayer. Aidan has been on my mind almost constantly for weeks now after I watched his video. I want you to know that I am praying and thinking of your family on a ongoing basis. I have two grandsons, 1 is 19 months and the other is 6 weeks. Maybe that's why the Lord has put you on my mind so much because I can relate to your 2 young boys. I have a 21 year old daughter that had oxygen deprivation at birth and is also on SSI and no she doesn't work either :) so that may be another reason why my heart has gone out to you. I would be willing to share my experiences with Katie if you so desire. If you ever need someone to talk with or pray with please let me know. The burden on my heart is so heavy for Aidan and I Pray that he will "walk" into full recovery.
Love,
Kathy
mikatr@cox.net

Aidan's mom said...

Thank you for your prayers and support, Kathy. Without the kindness and compassion of strangers like you, we wouldn't be where we are now. I believe in the power of prayer and Aidan has many people all over the world praying for his recovery. I hope that they all continue to pray for him and I hope that by sharing our story with people that they are more aware of the dangers that face our children. Even though you think they are safe and that you're taking exceptional care of them, accidents can and do happen, even to the best parent.

Again, thank you for your prayers. I'd love to hear more about your daughter. Feel free to email me directly.

Blessings,
Erin

Anonymous said...

Erin,

I don't see the need for you to apologize for the anger you expressed in your blog. I think there is "appropriate anger" and non-appropriate anger. In this case, your anger was justified and even necessary. If we remain silent at the unfair remarks and attitudes people exhibit towards parents of near-drowns, then we allow this prejudice to continue. At some point they need to be rebuked, if for no other reason than to make them THINK. To think about how their judgmental and prideful remarks hurt everyone involved, even the near-drowned child.

When the Cosmillos were looking for help with fundraising for Joey (ND 1-9-07), they were told it would be better if they were not directly involved with the fundraiser for "obvious reasons". The "obvious reasons" being that the public looks harshly at the adults in charge, when a child drowns, and they aren't as inclined to give donations generously, because they have the mindset that "these people brought this on themselves." Now who does that attitude really hurt? It's hurts the child who the fundraising is for!

The public generally wants to assume the worst about parents of near drowns. Your friend's comments were quite typical. To make blanket statements such as "they (the parents of the ND) assumed this risk when they chose to have a pool," does nothing to help the situation and does plenty to hurt the situation. Other people listen to their comments and follow their lead, and soon the majority of people out there deem the parents "guilty" of somehow not doing enough to protect their child.

Rather than assuming the worst of parents of near drowns, why not assume the best?

This will only happen when people are willing to swallow their pride, and to think the best of their fellow man and fellow parents out there.

It's not about who is the "better parent" or who "cares more". It's about believing in one another so that even when the worst happens, we don't jump in to say "they assumed this risk" or "they brought this on themselves by choosing to have a pool, or live by a lake."

I WAS your friend.
I WAS prideful and assumed that I surely "cared more" about MY kid since I didn't own a pool.
At some point I was rebuked, and I not only deserved to be, but needed to be, and I am now thankful for such a humbling experience.

No longer am I on "the other side", assuming the worst about parents of near drowns.

No longer do I condemn them.

I have chosen instead to keep an open mind and have an open heart, and to HELP these poor people who have suffered one of the worst nightmares I can imagine.

We are first and foremost fellow parents. Let us ALL keep that in mind and let us ALL start assuming the BEST about each other, even when these horrible accidents happen to one of our kids.

So never apologize for anger that is justified, Erin. When the money changers were in the temple and Jesus overturned their tables it was because He was angry. Angry that His father's house of worship had been turned into a place for money changing. His anger was justified and had a purpose.

I, too, am sorry your friend received hate mail. That kind of stuff won't work to change people's minds or their hearts. However it does show just how much her comments hurt others, for some to resort to hate mail.

It would do well for your friend to apologize to the many, many near drown parents she hurt with her comments. Sadly, your friend speaks for many, but hopefully, with time, that will change, and no longer will people harshly and unfairly judge parents of near drowns.

I'm glad to be on your side now, and I'm sorry I ever thought the worst about parents of near drowns. I was wrong to do so.

God's continued blessings, and may Aidan continue to progress as well as he's doing. My prayers are with him.

Donna Mibus

Anonymous said...

Russ and I had a long talk - and I will apologize to the near-drowning parents whose childrens accidents were accidents IF I had said something about them - I did not. But I will not, ever, in any way apologize to a parent whose near-drowning was caused because the parents were drunk inside an apartment while their 2 year old was inside playing around a pool and whose mother is now in jail facing felony charges. I was referring to one specific incident and if you want to condemn me for doing my homework, so be it. But do not assume I was speaking for all near-drowning accidents - just the one Erin cited and I researched myself - did you? Remember to assume makes an ass out of u and me - and that's what your insinuation that I was speaking to ALL near-drowning victims has done. You don't know me enough to judge me and you don't know me well enough or read me well enough to know what I was talking about. So just as you have the right to say "It would do well for your friend to apologize to the many, many near drown parents she hurt with her comments." - I have the right to say you don't know what I was talking about and you don't have the right to judge me in any way. I was speaking of one incident and one incident only and I believe YOU should apologize to me for assuming otherwise and making me into something I'm not. Russ and Erin and I are on fine terms, so please butt out. People need to take their feelings off their sleeves and actually read what people post and not just to conclusions and chew into someone. We were over this last night - but people like you keep dragging it on and on.

Shawna

Anonymous said...

Wow. All I can say is that people should give you as much wiggle room as you need at this time! There is no room for rude or unkind people on this blog.
{{{hug}}}
Cindy.