Monday, May 25, 2009

some self-pity, an update and thanks

It's 2:15am here and I should be in bed by now, but I just had some thoughts I wanted to get off my chest. I just went in to check on Aidan and give him a good-night kiss. It's absolutely amazing to me that he can sleep so peacefully and look so "normal" when he is asleep.

I stroked his cheek and he stirred a little. He always does this when I touch him when he's asleep, and every it surprises me at how "normal" he acts. He's able to move his head, arms and legs. He stretches just like a normal little kid, but when he is awake he is not able to move as much.

I just don't understand. It is heart-wrenching to see him like this. He looks exactly like a normal 3 year old, sleeping in his bed. The only problem is that when he wakes up, he isn't a normal 3 year old. I just miss him so much! I want to hear him laughing and playing and fighting with Evan. I want to have both of them driving me absolutely batty being normal little boys.

Those of you who have intact children are so lucky. Hold on to your kids and love them. Cherish every moment you have with them, no matter how crazy they make you at times. I'd give anything, I'd endure anything to have my Aidan back.

Sorry to start out with my depressing pity-party, but I couldn't keep it in any more. So now for the results of the EEG. According to Dr. C, the test was unremarkable. I take this to mean that he isn't showing any additional seizure activity or that it is unchanged from the previous test. That leaves us with the question of what is causing the twitching or jerking that we take to be seizures? Is it just Aidan's brain recovering and the parts of his brain that control his movement are "waking up?" Lord, I hope and pray it is.

I know that I am a very impatient person. I want Aidan healed NOW, but I also know that God does His work in His own time and not ours. Since the accident, Aidan has overcome many obstacles. He has made amazing improvements and has grown so much! He is a miracle in progress.

I am so thankful to each and every one of you who have prayed for our family, who have donated any amount to help Aidan, who have passed along our story to others and who have supported us this far. I hope that we are able to touch even more lives as we continue on this path with Aidan. I pray that Aidan's life can become a testament and that one day he will be able to tell others his story.

I hope that everyone has a wonderful Memorial Day, and I hope that you take the time to remember what this day is for. Remember those who have served our country, who have fought for our freedom and those who have died doing so. I have many members of my family who have served in the military, and I want them to know that I appreciate them and I am proud of them for what they do and have done.

God Bless!
~Erin

3 comments:

Ali said...

I'm with you on your "pity-party". It's so very true, and so very normal to feel that way. You've learned to appreciate every little thing, and now will never take anything for granted! *hugs* to you & Aidan...and many prayers for his healing and your strength along the way!

Kathy Hooper said...

Still praying for you all. My heart breaks for your pain.

momtohannah said...

My daughter suffered an hypoxic injury in 2006, She has a carepage. Her page is hannahduggan. We are having a conference in Atlanta in June and I wanted to let you know if you are able to attend. My email is donnaduggan@comcast.net.....if you send me your email I will send you some info. Also, please let other know about this. Thanks so much! Donna