Tuesday, February 16, 2010

been dreading this day

So today is the 2 year anniversary of the accident. Getting to this point has been a long, painful journey. Aidan has made a lot of progress in these last 2 years, and hopefully he will continue to make more progress in the years to come.

My baby isn't really a baby any longer. Physically, he's grown so much since that day. I look back at his pictures and he looked so little then. I look at his clothes that he wore that day and it's hard to remember him being so small.

We read about so many other kids who had near-drowning accidents and some are in worse condition than Aidan and some are lucky enough to not have any negative outcome. Aidan is here for a reason- he has a purpose in this life and that is why he is still here. We very well could have lost him forever.

There were days when he was in the hospital that I thought he would be better off if he didn't have to struggle and hurt and fight the way he was having to, but I learned that I had to put everything in God's hands and that He would take care of Aidan and us. There is nothing worse than watching your baby fight to live.

I just want to say that I am so very grateful and thankful to the first responders who showed up so quickly, to the ER staff and doctors who worked so hard to revive Aidan and to the PICU staff who took such wonderful care of Aidan. They are all angels in my book. I will never be able to thank my mother enough for being able to do what I couldn't. She put aside all emotion of seeing Aidan like that and her skills as a nurse took over and she was able to do CPR on Aidan. I couldn't even make it to him and I sure wouldn't have been able to think clearly even if I had.

So anyway, even though I mourn the loss of the Aidan that we once had- the happy, laid back, loving, energetic, strong willed little boy- I know that we are so very Blessed to have Aidan in our lives now. There are still little flickers of that "life" in there and he is still definitely strong-willed. We all have so much to learn from him and one day he's going to surprise us all. I have faith that he's going to do amazing things one day. I just can't wait to watch them happen.

Thank you to each and every one of you who have read this blog. To those of you have read from the very beginning and have prayed for us and supported us along the way. It is your strength, faith and prayers that have helped get us to this point. And even though most of you are perfect strangers to us, we love you all, and we consider you our friends.

Without the help, love and support of our family and friends, I don't know where we'd be, so thank you, everyone! Thank you for loving and caring about our sweet baby, Aidan. I know that he is constantly surrounded in love and protected by angels.



Leslie said...

Erin, I cannot imagine what emotions this day brings - I'm sure there are not enough words in the English language to describe those vast emotions. This post truly does say so much, and all of us strangers have the same hope for your precious son, the same expectation of miracles. I trust, with you, that our Heavenly Father has great plans for His son, Aidan. We pray for strength for him, and for you all along the way. Thank you again for this beautiful post.

Erin said...

Thank you Leslie. Russell and I both greatly appreciate all of the support and prayers from you and Brett. You've become very special people to us and we love you both. Thank you.

ferfischer said...

Thinking of you today. I found our anniversary day to be very difficult, and I'm sure it will be forever. But, you're right, it's also an opportunity to see what you have instead of what you lost. Hugs.

Kathy Hooper said...

Erin, I have to be honest that I've also been dreading this day right along with you as I knew it would be so hard for you and Russell. I think I found out about Aidan from a post you made on FF a few months after the accident and I've followed you ever since. You are wonderful parents who have done everything possible for your precious boy. Thank you for sharing Aidan and his journey. You have taught me a lot about dedication and LOVE.

Luke's Mom said...

Praying for you today. I know how hard these anniversaries can be. On the one hand you are so happy to have your child alive, but on the other hand you grieve the child that is now gone. I am praying for a lot of good and new improvements for this year for Aidan. I'm also praying for y'all as you welcome a new little one into your home. Be blessed and never forget that you are not on this journey alone, there are many walking by your side praying for y'all and hoping for the best to come.

Love in Christ,

SugarEd Productions said...

How can it be 2 years already?

I can only imagine your pain and heart ache, and I am amazed always at your faith, and grace with which you face each day. You and Russ and Aidan are an inspiriation to us all.

I totally agree, that each and evry child of God, "normal" or "special" has value and purpose in this world. And I too believe that Aidan will continue to do great things. And I am honored and thankful that you let us share this journey with you.

let's talk about a SugarEd fundraiser soon, OK?